Monday, November 8, 2010

Finality

This is my last blog under this name (but its a doozy).  I'm no longer 40, I'm no longer fat, I'm no longer "getting fit" but rather I "am" fit.  I still have 1 arm, but its much stronger.  With the birth of my daughter and the achievement of many of my fitness goals, my blogging will shift to family.  However, my fitness journey has just begun.  The drive to improve, stay thin, be healthy, has never been stronger in my life.  Barring injury or other catastrophe, I'm pretty sure this time it will stick.

This 11 month endeavor was a life changing experience.  That sounds quaint and neat, but it severely underestimates the transformation in my life.  Even though I documented the journey started at 300 lbs, I did not document the journey starting with my severe attitude problem.

Blow Me
One word: unhappy.  Work sucked, everyday life sucked.  I was miserable doing the simplest things. Getting out of the car was painful.  Going up or down steps caused me to break into a pant.  Simple chores around the house had me sweating like a priest in a whorehouse.  I was in a very bad place physically and mentally.

My bulk was scary, my face was so fat that my sunglasses look liked they belong to a 5 year old.  Me at my heaviest:

I KNEW my cholesterol, triglycerides, and blood pressure were dangerously high even though I refused to check them.  Deep down, I wanted things to be different, but the tasty food, the lazy evenings on the couch, and the multiple cocktails were too easy and too habitual to break.  I thought change would happen eventually...  I never knew how long it would be before it did, or how sudden it would occur.

I said it before, Crossfit changed my life.  However, when I sat down to reflect, the magnitude and breadth of the change was a bit overwhelming to me.

Fate
It was a bit of fate I even ended up at Crossfit 540.  Kate J. told my wife, Angela about the new gym opened by some of her friends (whom my wife knew well too).  Angie reminded me about it a few  times.  Finally, after the 2009 holiday food orgy, I decided I'd had enough.  I loaded up the kids and we went looking for it.  My first attempt was a failure.  I never saw the tiny letters declaring "Crossfit 540" so I said "screw it" and went home.

As luck would have it, I was out with my son the next day and decided to take another look.  This time I located the letters and walked up to the deserted looking establishment.  Luck shined again because Trevor was still there despite classes being adjourned for the day.

It was small and spartan, reminding me of my favorite gym from College.  He showed me around (which given the size took about 20 seconds) and I noticed a sign which would haunt me for the next month: "You can't out-train a bad diet."  It was written large on this whiteboard, by someone with penmanship similar to mine.  But it was clear enough to read and the message would become exceedingly sharp.

I promised to come back in a few days once vacation was over and I had time.  (Note: Trevor told me later he never expected to see me again.)  On January 9th, I did come back. And Hell was unleashed on me.  My subsequent pain was well documented in Facebook statuses and early blog entries.  To say I hurt would be a gross misrepresentation.  My pain was constant, excruciating, and unbearable.  Most people would have given up, but my embarrassment made me come back.  Crossfit showed me how sorely I was out of shape (pun intended).  I was so bad that the warm-ups were intimidating.  After a couple of weeks, every muscle granted me by birth had been annihilated.  The sign still sat on the whiteboard.

People doing Crossfit will tell you that it impacts their entire life.  Newbies don't really understand what that means for a while.  It impacts the whole of your life because it exposes every bad dietary, sleep, and physical conditioning you have.  It will MAKE you change things.  There really is no choice... at least if you are over 30.

"You can't out-train a bad diet."
The first to go for me was alcohol.  It's too bad, because alcohol is exactly what I need to make the muscle pain go away.  There was nothing worse than dehydration during a WOD.  You feel like a herd of sheep have walked through your mouth while wearing fuzzy slippers.  Your side hurts, you get dizzy.  This quickly leads to drinking less alcohol and a LOT more water.

Then it hits your food intake.  Wanna know how Pizza tastes 6 hours later?  Eat 4 big slices for lunch and then go do 100 burpees and run a couple of miles.  Let's just say that taste should not be offered as a speciality flavor.  Finally, the sign that hung in silence began to win.  I started changing my diet.  I thought I understood how to eat correctly (and just chose not to do it).  Boy was I wrong.

I won't bore you (again) with my diatribe on The Culprit and the Cure nor my enlightenment into the "Zone".  But let me say this... I am more in tune with my body than ever before.  I have transformed my body, mind, and health through learning, experimenting, and keeping what works.  If you change nothing else, change how you eat.

Hindsight
Looking back, I've learned more about myself in the past 11 months as I had in the previous 40.  I saw limits... then pushed past them.  I saw barriers fall, obstacles move, and tenacity gained.  I've been a confident person for most of my life and in early years many would say cocky.  Crossfit created a different sense of confidence, a much better one.  It is a calm, quiet confidence.  One that comes with the realization that few things in life can scare you after 70 minutes of "Murph" or "Adam Brown".  It is a confidence that allows you to go run a 10k after a 21 year layoff without specifically training for it.  It let's you compliment and help others with full sincerity.  It creates a desire to help someone looking for inspiration, to move them from where you were to where you are.

The Mind
None of this matters if you aren't happy.  My move from partially satisfied to profoundly happy was gradual.  I'll avoid the whole mushy story, but I have a new lease on life.  I no longer am looking forward "one day" (a sure sign of unhappiness) but instead, I enjoy "to - day", right now, right here.  Life is great and I appreciate what I have even more now.  This is probably the most important change that has occurred in my life.  One I hope to keep forever.

So let's bring this to a close.  Sorry it didn't live up to the funniness of older blogs.

Final numbers tally:
75lbs lost
18% body fat lost
30% drop in Blood pressure (from hypertension to normal).
37% improvement in my 1 Mile time
50+ friends gained.
24.5% increase in tenacity.
47.5% increase in grit.
85% drop in fear.
113.4% increase in my belief that the impossible is possible.

The pictures are the most telling: