Xfit Idioms - Part Deux

People liked my last round of idioms, so I thought I would share a few more.   First, full disclosure that I didn't think most of these up... instead...


I have a couple of friends in Indy whose interest I have peak regarding Xfit.  They decided to supplement their workouts with some WOD.  Initially, I helped them research gyms.  Unfortunately, gyms in large cities are a lot more expensive than Crossfit 540 (don't freak, Trevor already knew).  Indy is $125 - $200 per month.  Atlanta is $250.  Big cities set it up a little different and most seem to be "pre-filtering" their clients through the price.  Anyway, these guys decided it was a little too steep for just a supplemental workout.


So I helped them put together some WODs. In doing so, I looked over a lot of different sites and found some true, but funny stuff.  Here are my favorites from various Xfit websites:

• Get Fit or Die Trying
• Routine is the Enemy
• This one is from the "how not to market your gym" site:  "It's torture, but it works!"
• I met Pukey today.
• Unleash your inner badass!

And my personal favorite:  "Crossfit will smoke you like cheap crack."

There is also some great reading on Xfit.  A couple of that stuck with me:

In response to articles saying that the guys from the movie 300 couldn't get their bodies from workouts alone:  ''Evidently there are some bozos out there who think that the 300 crew could not have gotten the results they did without chemical aids."

Despite such testimonials, guys like Billy Polson, warn that CrossFit isn't for everyone. "I think it will definitely be for people who are really wanting to test who they are and what they're capable of," he says. "And from my experience, a lot of people are scared of that." Glassman thinks we have better things to be scared of. 

I also happened upon a great website for Crossfit shirts.  Here are the best ones:

• Somebody may beat me, but they will have to bleed to do it.
• Your girl does pilates, my girl does Crossfit.
• I Clean, I Jerk, and I have a nice Snatch.
• WOD = WTF
• We don't use machines.  We make them.
• Today we do what nobody else will do, so tomorrow we may do what nobody else can do.
• Your gym sucks.
• I do Crossfit because I'm at war with my body.
• Run. Jump. Lift. Squat. Puke. Repeat.
• I fear no man, but I fear my workout.  If I don't fear my workout, it's not hard enough.

And my favorite:

• Buck Furpees

Finally, some great reading on the basis of Xfit.

CF Tips from the 40 Year Old Fat Guy

A quick blog to share some tips about Crossfit from the 40yofgw1a.  That sure is a crappy acronym.

Tips for an Injury Free Crossfit Workout:

I may not be the biggest stud at the actual workouts, but I'm a mental giant.  I Rx the thinking....

Burpees suck and I'm terrible at them.  But since it is one of the best all around exercises, I'm sure we will keep doing them.  I've found they are rough on my knees (since I can't jump to my feet immediately).  I've started using these:    

1 for each knee really keeps the scraping down

They are also great for whenever we do deadlifts.  Wear on the calf area and keep the shin scraping down.

Finally, for those of you that still use a band (like me) on the pull-ups but hate wearing long pants.  Wear one of these where you put the band and eliminate the pain.

Next, CF is tough on the hands.  I started buying athletic tape and taping my index fingers (well 1 of them).   the other option will also protect your hands during pull-ups:  hand wraps

You ladies just might be able to have a hard body AND soft hands ;)

Tracking Your Results:

Most people track their CF results religiously.  Many do it in a small notebook and that's cool.  But I hate paper so I have two electronic solutions.

iPhone Apps:  If you have an iPhone, you can dl'd an app called WOD for $1.99.  It is the highest rated of the CF apps.  It has all of the standard workouts pre-programmed.  It has a template for any non-standard workouts.  You enter your data and it logs by date.  I've used it a little and it seems fairly good.  It has an RSS feeder that can pull your gym's specific WOD, but I can't get it to work with the blogspot we use.  I don't use it because it only resides on your phone and you can't access it anywhere else.  But for some, that is good enough.  I will keep it because it has so many different workouts and explanations.

Evernote:  This is my method.  This program is free download for the iPhone, Blackberry or any Android phone.  It also has free software for MACs and PCs.  Finally, you can access it from a web browser.  The cool thing is, once you sign up, you put your login info in each of these and they will stay synched.  I have a notebook specifically for Crossfit.  Typically, I enter the workout ahead of time.  It synchs to my phone so that after I finish at CF, I call open the app, find the workout and enter my score. The changes then synch back and I can review it anywhere.  On my rest days, I enter my weight from that day so I can track those changes too.

My format:

Title: 3-20-10 Workout

Body:

"Cindy"

20 min AMRP

5 pull-ups, 10 sit-ups, 15 squats

Score: 13 rounds

Be aware, there is a paid version for heavy Evernote users, and they will occasionally bug you to upgrade.  But I've never even come close to the free monthly limits.  I also use this program to take and catalog pictures of great wines I encounter.  I keep a few key pieces of info that I can't remember to save my life... like the size of my home's air filters, the model year of my car's, pictures of things my wife might like for a gift, etc.  It is a very cool storage program.

Enjoy!

Progress Update on the Fat Guy!

Things are progressing well for the Fat Guy so I thought it was time for a progress update.  The Fit part:

Starting Weight: 300
Current Weight: 279
Muscle gain: 6 - 10 lbs (estimate)

Starting Blood Pressure: Borderline Hypertension
Current BP: Normal (down 20 points)

Starting Resting HR: 70 - 75 Beats per minute
Current: 60 - 62 BPM

Fat % pre and post: getting measured this weekend.


Starting Pull-ups: Used heavy duty purple band for assists

Current: Using mid-range black band, kipping much better.

Starting Condition for CF:  Suffered imminent heart attacks about every 30 seconds, saw flying unicorns through most of the workout, believed my eyes were bleeding, wished pain on all the people already finished.
Current:  Only 1 - 2 imminent HAs per session, no more seeing things and no longer want to kill people finishing ahead of me.

I still only have 1 arm with full range of motion.  And I'm still 40.

Nerds - Know Thyself

I am a nerd.  For those that know me, you know this is not a revelation. Funny thing is, I'm not a very good one.  I'm an Electrical Engineer from Georgia Tech, but I've never worked as an engineer.  I like Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, and The Matrix, but can't ruminate over the intricate details of any of them.  I love gadgets, but only in the context of making my life easier or more enjoyable.  I never buy anything that doesn't have a use.  I'm a nerd, but a "casual" one :D

You may wonder "what is the difference between a geek, nerd and dork"?
Geek is a slang term, noting individuals as "a peculiar or otherwise odd person, especially one who is perceived to be overly obsessed with one or more things.

Dork is slang for a quirky, silly and/or stupid, socially inept person, or one who is out of touch with contemporary trends. Often confused with nerd and geek, but does not imply the same intelligence level.  It's also the official name for a Whale Penis, but I'm trying to keep this clean! :D  I have no idea why I just italicized that - LOL!

Nerd refers to a person who passionately pursues intellectual activities, esoteric knowledge, or other obscure interests. Therefore, a nerd will tend to associate with like-minded people.

There are other typical traits of a nerd:

• They tend to speak a different language when discussing their passion.
• All their jokes are "inside".
• They love to discuss/debate the minutia of their passion.
• They congregate regularly to enjoy their interest with like-minded people.

Given this, I would submit that most of you reading this are nerds.  My colleagues at work think Supply Chain humor is funny (I guess it can be).  Sales people think their "inside" sales jokes are hilarious (they usually aren't).  Supply Chain nerds.  Sales nerds.  You all fit the bill.

I am now associated with a new set of nerds.  Fitness Nerds.  The traits of a nerds are so typical of a Crossfit session!

• Our language: AMRP, Tabatas, Burpees, GHDs, kipping, Rx.
• "Did you see me almost miss that box jump?!?!?! HAHAHAHAHA!"  "I'm so sore. I can't lift my arm!  HAHAHAHA...."
• Minutia: Who knew Kipping was such a complex thing!!!  We discussed the finer points of "cleans" today for a while.  We needed to because you can wreck yourself quickly doing them wrong.  But its still amusing and very similar to what Dungeons and Dragons players probably do about whatever they hell they talk about.
• Congregate:  Yep.... 3 out of every 4 days, we congregate.

We talk and laugh about things no one else finds funny!  Yep, we are Fitness Nerds.

Short and Random

For those enjoying my blog, I appreciate the nice words you've given me.  This one will probably suck, so I'm glad you've already complimented me.

BMI
I think this measure is total bullshit for big people.  I don't mean big as in 5 foot 3, 600 lbs.  I mean big, linebacker kind of people like me.  As we all know from this blog, I make the "fat" cut no matter what measure you want to use.  BMI calls me obese.... firmly in the middle of the scale obese.  Overweight yes, obese.... hmmmm...

At my current height (6' 3") I have weighed from 200 all the way to 305.  At 200 lbs, I had family members trying to enroll me into a clinic for eating disorders.  My step-uncle thought I had bulimia.  LOL  In other words, I was a little too thin.  Of course, once I cut the mullet, I dropped to 190....

At my best shape with some ridiculously low body fat, I weighed 215.  According to BMI, to be within normal weight, I'm supposed to be 190 lbs.  Seriously?  I thought I was looking at the women's chart.  Oh well, I'd have to cut off one of my legs to make weight.  I guess I'll always be overweight or obese to the "BMI'ers" out there.

I wish they made a chart for elephants.

Einstein's Theory of Weight Loss:
I'm convinced that for every pound one person loses, someone they know gains it.  I think my dog is gaining all the weight I'm losing.  Pooch is getting fat...

I'm Not the Only One
While this blog is mostly about my experience, I have to share the progress of some good friends.  2 of the 3 have simply followed "The Culprit and the Cure" book to get these results.

Martin:
This dude is HUGE.  He's 6'8" and probably 350.  He's overweight, but even if he weren't he would still be HUGE!  His nickname is NormalGuy LOL....  He would fit right in on any NFL offensive line.  He has lost 50 lbs in the last 5 months.

Brett:
This guy first recommended the book.  He is not doing CF.  He has just followed the book's simple rules and lost 40 lbs in just a few months!! Amazing.

Don:
He isn't overweight.  Matter of fact, he's a little bit of a pip-squeak ;)  However, he was diagnosed with diabetes last year.  He lost weight and improved his diet.  He went back a year later and his condition was slightly worse.  He had the wind knocked out of his sails a little.  I told him about the Cure's section on low glycemic foods.  He read up on it and then bought the book.  He started following the eating recommendations and in 1 week dropped his sugar within normal limits.  A couple of weeks later, he was consistently below it.  Hopefully he can lower his insulin soon!!!

So if my stories of CF scare you, BUT you want to make a change, please take away the very serious recommendation of buying and reading this book.  I said it a few blogs back but worth restating.  IT CHANGED MY LIFE.

So in summary, I told you this one would suck.

So for a totally unrelated laugh.... and if you clicked the Sarah Silverman link and want to know what happened next, click this.  BTW, it is NSFW... language...

No Excuses

I've debated on posting this one for a while.  I wrote a lot of it in a pretty emotional state and it was harsh... mostly on myself, but people in a similar situation might think it was directed at them.  So I trashed it, kept the subject and am rewriting it now.

For obvious reasons, I've lived in a world that required me to figure out many things for myself.  From simple things like wearing a pair of gloves, to more complex things like perfecting a crossover dribble, I've had to figure it out without a lot of advice.  Because of this: "I rarely make excuses."  For people that work with me, I hope the statement rings true!  I am known as a frank person (hopefully this also means honest) and its true.  Deep down, I probably have some fear that if I ever make the first excuse, it becomes addictive.  (Fear of addiction is also why I've never used a single drug in my life LOL -- I'm one of the last true drug virgins.)

Anyway, there was a notable exception to my "no excuses" personality.  Exercise and weight.  DAMN I was good at excuses!  I won't list them because we all know them.  But this isn't about when I used excuses, it is about when I stopped.  I said in a an earlier blog that others don't motivate me, that's true.  BUT, I do get a little emotional when I see others accomplish great things, but oddly, not when I do it.  I expect it from myself so it was odd that I was so excuse-ridden.

Everyone is a bit vain.  I'm no exception to that rule.  But it is hard to be vain when you don't look as well as you have in year's past.  I am a true believer in the "beauty is on the inside" cliche but I also want to look good.  Who doesn't?  If you raised your hand, you are lying to yourself .... LOL.

Oddly, my vanity is EXACTLY what kept me from improving.  I didn't think I was going to be mistaken for Brad Pitt but I also wasn't willing to admit how far I had fallen.  I was excusing myself from the reality of my situation.  Instead, I just kept telling myself that I "carry it well".  After I started CF, I looked myself in the mirror one day and admitted I was fat.  Soberly. Honestly.

I began describing myself as FAT on purpose.  It may not be politically correct, but since I'm talking about me, the PC people can stick it...   By admitting and be honest about being FAT, I removed the vanity and exposed my excuse.  I put it in my blog title, I use it to motivate others ("don't let the fat guy beat you"... right Kate?), and most of all, I tell myself I'm fat everyday... but not for too much longer.

My advice to you, if you are overweight and want to do something, then do this:  Go over to a mirror and look at yourself and admit you are fat.  Then make a decision to either (a) accept it or (b) do something about it.  For me, I will never judge someone that choose to stay the way they are.  If you are satisfied with your body then great... that is your choice alone.  Like any choice, there are downsides and upsides.  If you decide to do something about it, then you MUST accept No Excuses for it.

Finally, to indulge my vanity a little.  I've had more than one person tell me I look a little like Matt Damon.  No, I'm not ****ing Sarah Silverman.... but you be the judge if we look alike.

 

Crossfit Idioms

These are idioms about Crossfit I've created or heard in the last two months:

- The easier it looks on paper, the harder the workout.  (See Fight Gone Bad :D)

- If it is named after a woman, it's gonna hurt.... a lot.  Fran, Barbara, Karen, arrrrgggghhhh...

- Burpees are God's way of punishing fat people.

-  "It's all about the whiteboard."

-  If the people from the previous class are still there when you arrive, it's gonna suck!

- "If you want Rx, then you must..."

- "Oooo, look, the ladies won again."

- "Let's make it hurt!"

- "Our warm-ups are most people's workout."

- After seeing the WOD:  "Has he gone crazy?"

- My personal one: "I think I'm going to die..."


From the ladies:

- After hearing complaints from her husband about her 'pull up callouses':  "Do you want me to have soft hands or a 'hard body'?"

Finally, I made me a new t-shirt.  :O

HAHA!!!