Crazy Man in the Workout Room...

So we just got back from a weeks vacation.  I was torn whether to rest my Crossfit weary bones or continue.  The downside of working out on vacation... getting up early.  The downside of not working out... "the MFing soreness" when I got back.  I decided for the lesser of two evils and kept up my workout schedule as much as possible.  My workouts were uneventful except for two.

On the day we were going to Sea World, I did 100 pushups, 200 sit-ups, and 300 squats.  What the hell was I thinking?  For the next 10 hours, I was on my feet in 98 degree weather.  By the end of the day, I was whining like most of the 3 year olds there.  Hell I seriously considered hijacking this old lady's scooter when she went for frozen lemonade.  Too bad her husband kept an eye out.... or I would have torn outta there at 2.5 mph.  "KIDS, MEET ME AT THE CAR!!!" Man I was tired and sore.


On Friday, I decided it was time to put a hurting on myself.  The resort where we stayed had a beautifully equipped, pristine gym.  Which is to say it was utterly useless to a CFer! :D  It did have some rubber dumbells (but with only a 50lb max.... buncha wusses, we warm up with 50s).  Anyway, the real positive thing was a couple of pull-up handles on the crossover weight rack.  I wish I had discovered it sooner.

So 5 rounds: 10 K2E, 15 Thursters, 7 Pull-ups.  Yeah, 75 thrusters.  I'm an idiot.  I get warmed up and finally will myself to begin the pain.  Halfway through my second round, in walks a middle aged man, his wife and 20 something year old son.  Of course, I'm slinging sweat all over the floor (it's 4 o'clock in 97 degree weather) and panting like an elephant giving birth.  During my third set of thrusters, I'm pretty sure I said the mother of all words a couple of times.  The older guy looked like he wanted to say something, but then he saw the 50lb dumbell suspended above my head and decided to bite his tongue.

Then I started kipping pull-ups.  I was kipping so hard I was tilting the whole weight rack a little.  It would slam down each time and then up I would tilt it again.  At this point, they all looked a little terrified.  My favorite moment happened when I finished.  I collapsed per normal on the floor in heaping, heaving mess.  All three stopped what they were doing and just stood there for a moment, presumably waiting for me to die.  HAHA!

At one point during round 4, I did hear the man ask his son what workout he was doing.  The son's reply?  "A whole body workout."  I almost laughed.  They have no idea.

Crossfit Pride

If you workout, ask yourself this question:  "How often do I finish a workout and feel like I accomplished something?"  1 out of 4?  1 out of 10?  Do you walk out of the gym thinking, I bet not many people did THAT today?  Over the course of 20+ years of traditional workouts, I can say it didn't happen that often for me.  I'm not knocking traditional workouts.  Most research shows that 30 mins of moderate exercise per day gives you 90% of the health benefits.  Traditional workouts are great for a vast majority of people.

But Crossfit is different.  After almost EVERY workout, you have a distinct feeling of accomplishment.  True... it is a prideful feeling, but a well deserved one.  For me at first, it was merely surviving without a heart attack.  Then it became about actually finishing.  After 2 months, it is now about doing as well as I can.  I know I'm going to finish, but how long will it take me?  Can I scale up the weight?  Can I beat the next guy?

Another reason you feel that "Pride" is each day is that workouts are different everyday.  You only repeat an exact workout about every 3 months.  This is a BIG REASON for the great results you get.  Since the combinations are different each time, you really aren't quite sure how to predict your performance.  You can't bargin with yourself about the number of reps, rounds or time.  You just have to GO!  

In traditional workouts, you repeat so often, you begin to mentally restrict your progress.  You do just a the same or just a "little" more each time.  In CF, you just work as hard as your body lets you and the rapidity of results shows.  Then, when you finally repeat a workout, you have 3 months of hard training under your belt and kick your old time's ass!!

There are a finite number of exercises we use to work the entire body:

Air Squats, Front Squats, Back Squats, Deadlifts, Kipping Pull-ups, Dead-Hang Pull-ups, Sit-ups, Push-ups, Burpees, Cleans, Push Presses, Snatches, Ring Dips, Kettle Bell Swings, Sumo Deadlift High Pulls,  Wall Balls, GHDs, Box Jumps, and everybody's favorite, Thrusters!  I probably missed a few, but these are the major ones.  Many of these require nothing more than a couple of dumbells or your own body.

The other important aspect about this is technique.  CF trains you to move large amounts of weight over long distances.  To do so, you need great form.  The two keys in almost every exercise:  lumbar curve in the back, power up on your heels.  These two protect your back and your knees... two traditional injury prone areas.  After I was taught the proper way to do a squat, I lifted my college max almost immediately... even at 40 and fat :D

Finally, sit-ups.  We do full range sit-ups.  But it doesn't hurt the back because of this awesome thing:

The Abmat.  You tuck it under your butt and go to town.  Full range sit-up with NO back pain!!  Well, no back pain.  Your abs will feel the burn.

Crossfit was going great but after a few weeks, I discovered something that was even more important to me.  It told me how to live 20 years longer.

Crossfit 101

Desire.  Grit.  Pain.  

Those are the 3 key ingredients of Crossfit.  Mine seems to be a little heavy on the pain :D  The name of my gym is Crossfit 540, but this is about my first two weeks, so 101 is apropos.  Honestly, the first two weeks should be called "Crossfit - Holy Mother of Hell, You Have to Be F---ing Kidding Me - 101".

The owners of the gym are two of the best people you'll meet.  Most people start a business to make money.  I have no doubt that is their goal as well.  But when you meet them, you see the passion in their eyes.  They want you to succeed, not because you pay them but, so that you, well…. Succeed.

As I said before, I have a radial club but it doesn't stop me.  HOWEVER, it does present challenges for a workout like Crossfit.  Fully 2/3's of the exercises require some modification for me.  Most of the time I come in, I know what to do.  Sometime, Trev has already thought about what I could do differently.  If neither one of us have, we figure it out together.  The one thing he never substitutes is the PAIN.  I get it just like everyone else.   There are days you actually feel nervous about the workout!! LOL

So… the first two weeks were a blur of burpees, pull-ups, wall-balls.  Workouts named after women: Barbara, Fran, ......Sarah Jessica Parker.  More pull-ups, sit-ups, squats… and more burpees.  I hate Burpees....HATE. A mean, nasty hate.   I started hurting 10 mins after the first workout.  (Editor's note:  The "women workouts" are so tough, they have to be named in "honor" of the founder's ex-wives.  People swear the names are from the original female cross-fitters.  I think that's bullshit. LOL) 

I was told I would feel a "little soreness and discomfort" the first two weeks.  HA.  My proctologist told me I would "feel a little pressure"....... Liars. 


The first two weeks of Crossfit, I couldn't walk.  Or sit.  Or lay down.  As my friend Kate said, "I'm considering installing wheelchair handles in the bathroom".   Crossfit works because it works EVERYTHING.  CF 101 was close to debilitating for me, but remember, I'm a 40 year old fat guy w/ 1 arm.  Most of the people coming to Crossfit are already in great shape and looking to take it to the next level.  I show up and totally blow the grading curve for everyone!

After two weeks, I started to move away from the dramatic soreness and into a more consistent "workout sore".  In that small time frame, my core became stronger than it had been in 15 years.  Also in that time frame, something else gets stronger.  I call it "Crossfit pride"...