Can I be more random in a title?
I read an article the other day about Facebook and narcissism. In a nut shell, a "scientific study" found that the heaviest users of Facebook are narcissists. A quote: "Facebook provides an ideal setting for narcissists to monitor their appearance and how many ‘friends’ they have, the study said, as it allows them to thrive on ‘shallow’ relationships while avoiding genuine warmth and empathy."
The main behaviors are "friend farming" and frequent posts about accomplishments. Evidently, this also implies that the person is insecure about themselves. I put the "study" in quotes because I think studies that tell us things that are common sense are hilarious. How many studies have been completed to tell us that vegetables and fruits are good for us? Dumbarses. Hang on one sec, I need to finish my science grant request to study why humans have a nose.
Anyway, back to Facebook... isn't everyone a narcissist at some level? Otherwise, aren't you headed to a mental institution or toward suicide. If you don't like yourself, how else are you supposed to cope with life everyday. My parents called it confidence and it's needed as long as it doesn't approach hubris. Regardless, I find there is probably some truth to it. It made me glad that I only post once or twice a day and that I don't accept friend requests from people I don't know. (Does it make me a narcissist that I just patted myself on the back for not being a narcissist? - Man, my head hurts!)
I think Facebook has been successful for a much basic reason, affirmation. Beyond, eating, drink, sleep and shelter, people have one very basic need ... to feel connected to someone. Affirmation. Want to be loved and have more friends than you know how to handle? Affirm people, sincerely, truthfully, and poignantly. Ever notice how once you start commenting on someone's status, you magically get a return of the favor? Try it sometime. Pick the least well known person on your list and start commenting, once a day, on them. By tomorrow, the favor will be returned. I'll bet you 50 burpees.
Think about people you know that seem like they should have a lot of friends, but really don't. They are nice, but my guess is that when it comes right down to it, they never affirm others. They are too self-centered or self-absorbed to think about it. They need affirmation but never return the favor, or if they do, it is shallow and people see right through it.
Do I affirm enough? Sort of.... I suck in some areas and do pretty well in others. I probably don't affirm my closet friends and family nearly enough. God knows I have the best people around me but I don't always tell them how great I really think they are. (This is normally where an author makes a bold promise to improve... but I'm not stupid! I'll try to improve, but without the grandiose declaration.)
Affirmation. It works, try it. You need to do to yourself during WODs. It helps your box-mates. Holly set a PR EASILY one day after a strong affirmation from a box-mate when right before that, she was convinced she would not. I set PR's every time I tell myself I will. BUT, and its a big one, your affirmation needs to be sincere and truthful. If you really aren't capable yet, a simple affirmation won't work. But if that capability is somewhere deep down inside, you just need to tell yourself that its coming out and showing the world today, right now, in this box, during this WOD. Tell yourself the PR is coming, then go and set that MFer.
Sorry this blog sucked... (clearly that is a desperate cry for affirmation.)
One final thought: Words inspire others, but actions motivate them.
